I am compassionate

Time for another reflection question! This entry is all about compassion and self-reflection. Unlike my other blog posts I am not including any pictures I have taken myself! All these pictures are courtesy of Pinterest. I thought that some of my favourite quotes and sayings fit really well with the topics I would be discussing today. They might be a little cheesy, but who doesn't love a good mantra before the weekend?

Working abroad often causes people to increase their understanding of their own abilities, perceptions and goals. Has this experience pushed you to reflect on your own strengths and weaknesses in a way that you would otherwise not have been able to in your home country? What have you learned about yourself?

This experience has definitely pushed me to reflect on myself as a person in all areas of my personality. Being at home was much too comfortable for me and I never really feel the need to reflect on myself before. Living in a new and challenging environment showed me abilities I never knew I had before, some of my weaker spots and what a great person I have already come to be this far in life. Overall, I have learned to be really proud of myself. I am so much stronger than I ever imagined I could be. I leapt out of my comfort zone onto my first plane and landed on the other side of the world. 

I have realized that I am so much stronger and independent than I ever would have imagined. I grew up always relying on others, consulting people's opinions and being really nervous to do anything by myself. I did not have confidence in myself or my ability to make decisions. This experience has really helped me to change that. I have been really pushed from my comfort zone to think for myself and do my own thing. 

I have also realized I can be a very determined person. In the past procrastination and lack of ambition have really been my Achilles heal but those days are seemingly gone. I find myself going for what I want, asking more questions and powering through things until I am happy with the results.

I do not like to dwell on my the negative and prefer to call my "weakness" areas I can improve upon.

Since arriving in South Africa and in my time so far here I have learned a couple of areas that I can definitely improve upon. The first is that I am a very impatient person. I have found this with my never-ending battle with the difference of "punctuality" in South Africa. However, I am learning to calm-down, breathe and relax.

I have also realized that I should say yes more. As I mentioned I have been a very hesitant and nervous person in the past. In my time so far in South Africa I have really learned that sometimes I have to let go and just do something! This was actually something I realized in my pre-departure training. By saying yes more I am opening myself up to new experiences, meeting wonderful new people and I am filled with a lot less regret. 

How has this experience changed your capacity to be compassionate and self-reflective?

I already would consider myself to be a very compassionate person. Through my time at University I went through a lot of personal changes and transformed from someone who was not always so kind of compassionate to someone I am really proud to be. I think one of my greatest strengths is my ability to understand where people are coming from and do my best to make them feel better. I am really proud of the compassionate part of me as it is something I have really worked to improve in the past couple of years. 

I think that this part of my personality has grown even more since I have come to South Africa. I have felt compassion for people who are here who are struggling in a variety of ways. For example, at work I have been given the chance to attend two conferences. The first was about human rights and the gay community in South Africa and the second on gender based violence (re-cap coming soon!). The second conference really appealed to the compassionate part of me as I learned so much about the plight of women and children suffering from this. I felt so drained by the end of the day from being completely emotionally invested in this conference. I also felt so strongly that I needed to speak-out, change something, do something! This was such an overwhelming experience because I have never felt like this about an issue before. I believe that being in this environment and hearing first hand accounts of the horrors of gender based violence really brought out my compassion.

On a more personal level I have had to learn to be compassionate from hundred of miles away. I have been there for friends and family as they were all going through tough times. Not being able to offer a hug or be there over the phone was hard at first! But I have found new ways to be there for people. This is a skill I will for sure be using in the future as the people close to me become more spread out across Canada and the world. This is probably one of the best things I have learned from being here so far!

As for self-reflection I have also learned a lot of great skills in this area. I have never been one for journalling, meditating or even stopping to really reflect on my daily events or feelings. Being so far away from home and going through such a wide range of emotions has really forced me to change that now. I have started simply lying in bed before I go to sleep and really reliving the days events. If something has especially excited or upset me I try to really consider why I feel that way. I have even found my hyper-organized self making lists of things I am reflecting on so I can go back and re-examine them later. I am starting to feel much more in touch with myself and I am hoping this is a ritual that will continue permanently.